Sapiens Stories SERIES

This was directly inspired by If Only After You Then Me (or, Litanies) by Amadeus Regucera.  

Composer's Statement:  
"The text for If only after you then me is compiled from works by: William S. Burroughs, Jean Genet, George Bataille, Antonin Artaud. My interest in the literature of Burroughs, Genet, and Artaud (leading me to the philosophy of “base materialism” propagated by Georges Bataille) stems from a fascination and love for transgressive thought, critiques of accepted norms, and expressive forms of immediacy and contact. I place considerable import on first reactions and initial experiences, through which further exploration can take place. The text for Litanies, as the title implies, is merely a list, collated from different pieces of literature. What begin as symptoms of either drug use or dope sickness become a list of stream-of-consciousness words beginning with the letter “e,” perhaps in the mind of the addict who is swiftly moving towards transcendence/oblivion." —Amadeus Regucera 

If Only After You Then Me (or, Litanies)

Amadeus Regucera

every graphic thought narcoleptic fantasy//in my memory you're a rare creature jagged

apparition swollen body desperate predator//If only after you then me//I wake I breathe I wait

I want I need I watch I sleep I dream I kill I'm born I die I eat I watch I touch I fuck I feel I feel I

need I want I feel I need I kill I kill I fuck I want (cut, my mouth my tongue my lips my face my

neck my skin your) Memory, like a deep wound carved into my mind; I remember, you, like a

scar. Running my hand over the dead flesh. our lives, an abattoir. meaningful. lying there,

awake. sitting.//here//I can see you sleep eyes turned inward I can't join you so I watch//so

close you are too far (sweetly towards a dream I feel your eyes on me you are too far)//if you

don't hear from me send help//don't promise//don't choke//your memory like a scar//a

destructive love airtight co-temporary periodic chaos//a memory, a scar, your memory, a

scar//your mouth and eyes your skin your skin your flesh wet flesh a rare creature a jagged

apparition swollen body desperate predator gorgeous teen flesh a black cigarette blood red

razor blades mouth eyes eyes face eyes face lips flesh a rare creature gorgeous teen flesh

every fiction every collision a composite disaster love is a fashionable emotion eyes mouth

lips eyes face eyes your mouth our lips your mouth our eyes your face my hand your eyes my

mouth your neck our skin your hair our lips your sweat my mouth your ear our skin your

hands my mouth your neck your mouth your skin your sweat your room your city your city

your your body is our bodies bodies are we are bro ken we we bro ken we are we we are help

please every graphic thought don't help send don't hear from me send help if only don't don't

don't CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT CUT you're too far so tell me your words one text message

at a time me please your body is bodies are we are me please//[litany]//screaming head,

clenched teeth, white knuckles, sweated brow, bloodshot eyes, exhausted and empty,

effeminate, endlessly eradicated, Elysium, emasculate, emphallic, embolism, encephalitis,

eviscerate, extirpate, entropy, ephedrine, enuresis, excrescence encyst, eternal return